Mon-daze
Wake up from the Zombification of Culture and Energize Your Mind, Heart, and Friends.
An owner of a group of therapy clinics told me about how their therapists were needing more help from her - they felt stuck, stressed, and in a daze.
We talked about possible causes: The pandemic, the (at the time) recent supreme court decision overturning Roe v. Wade in a Female dominant work setting, and several other world stressors on top of listening to clients with the same challenges they were facing. Knowing causes doesn’t solve problems - it gives you a foundation of understanding to create a stable new system of behaviors, choices, and identity beliefs on.
The underlying story - is these therapists felt like they were being drained of their energy by a cultural vampire - (I know this breaks with cannon) and turning them into energyless zombies. (They felt dead inside and craved the “brains” stimulus support and life to feel good again).
The therapists felt compelled to wear a false smile to continue keeping on doing their work without knowing how to fully address their own frustrations with a culture that felt uncaring or worse towards them.
Here’s a story to illustrate a possible transition.
I woke up in the middle of the night - from an angry nightmare - I felt attacked and couldn’t see any way to fight or act that wouldn’t cause more harm. In a word - powerless. I attempted to go back to sleep - to dive back into the world (where nightmares happen) and just get the sleep I needed. (This is like just going back to work even when you feel that the world is against you).
Instead of sleeping, I realized that there are real causes of nightmares in my waking life. Many of them were far out of control - like the government.
I looked to where I could make a difference in my own life - where I do have power. And the place to start isn’t adding new things to my already stressed-out to-do list.
Eliminate, Reduce, Simplify, Streamline, and Systematize.
One of the things that drain my battery the fastest - comes from breaking a promise to myself. I notice at the end of the day, I often pile on a list of undoable tasks for future me to do. And in the cold light of morning - when sleep did not go as planned the energy and momentum aren’t there to do and sustain the doing of those promised tasks. Thus, a new rule - the tasks to do will be promised 1 at a time. With real breaks to rest, recharge and restart - (not social media doom hole distractions).
Hopefully, this self-imposed guideline to limiting my personal promises will keep the cultural vampires from draining all my energy.
But how could this understanding of overcoming draining energy be valuable to You?
If I had to give a talk to leaders with teams struggling with a new normal here are a few bullet points I would be sure to cover:
It’s not your fault for feeling “X” (Overwhelmed, Pissed, Angry, Hopeless, Depressed, Sad, Lonely, Divided, Ignored, Apathetic, etc)
The many extrinsic - or out of your control - forces draining people’s energy (and buying power) - give examples.
You still have power (Story of the elephant that has the power to break the rope)
At its heart - Government is a social contract - If you want “it” to be better then start with the social contract that is - more in your control - the one you make with yourself.
Choose to eliminate, reduce or avoid as many things that drain you as you can: Bad habits, Doom Scrolling, Negative Media, Isolation, draining relationships, and environments.
Choose to do things that give you energy - good sleep, good food, good friends.
Find a small way to positively impact your life. (I like to write with the hope that it will improve other people’s lives). Volunteer, connect with an old energizing friend, forgive a past hurt, try a different form of therapy, meditate, create art…
Collaborate with other people struggling to improve their lives
I would close the talk with a challenge - to connect with someone in the room to strategize on a real way you can put one of these ideas in motion right now.
What do you do - to wake up from this cultural pressure - to live more of the life you want - and feel less of the forces that pull other people down?