Improving Decisions
Big Decisions are Worthy of Being Made - invest a little time to improve the chances they will be great.
Hi, let’s chat about a big decision on your radar. It could be a decision you need to make, or even a decision you made a long time ago - that might need to be adjusted.
What are you solving for? Are you clear on the outcome you want? How well do you understand the “problem” and the challenges, stakeholders, that may impact your implementation?
When you don’t have clear ready answers to these kinds of questions - this is a great chance to work with someone who can help you facilitate your decision making process - (not offer their opinion or advice). Big decisions deserve your reflection and need you to buy in to it being the best solution for you. There’s a lot of advice and support to “Climb the ladder of life.” Why climb a ladder leaning against the wrong wall for you? Where do you really want to be going?
It’s tough to facilitate your decision conversation by just you reading - the power emerges from understanding what you struggle with and supporting your creative process.
What you don’t see as you read this - is that in the absence of a wise partner, I can use these pages to reflect on how I can improve my own decisions. Writing is a powerful medium to explore your gut, your options, and give yourself space to evaluate a multitude of options.
RED Flag - 🚩 You only see one “answer” or you feel trapped to do what you Must or Should do.
Simon Sinek - talks about a profound moment of encouragement to go on - that shows the huge power of having someones back - to make the difficult decisions to continue through the moments that feel impossible.
When you discuss your big decision in conversation with a peer or mentor - it’s ok to ask for what you want. “Hey, I need to make a big decision on something, can you just listen and ask me a few questions so I can get clear on what my decision is really about? And once we did that can you help me explore options that might work for me? And once we finish can you give me the space to come to my own conclusion through reflection? If you wish - I would love your support after I make my decision to actually do it.”
I found that having people still care for me - after making big mistakes - gave me power to make more difficult decisions. I hope you invest time with people that truly want the best for you - and have the capacity to support you during the tough times in your life.
Talking About Decisions Works:
The Study: "The Power of Conversation: Predicting Dyadic Financial Decision Making" by Lerner, J. S., Li, Y., Valdesolo, P., & Kassam, K. S. found that when two individuals engaged in an open and constructive conversation about a financial decision, they were more likely to make better choices and achieve more favorable outcomes (My emphasis)
The factors that profoundly influenced these good outcomes in this study include:
Active Engagement: Where both parties deeply listened, asked questions, and shared perspectives.
Perspective Sharing: Includes sharing ideas from different viewpoints, observations, and exploring the various impacts and outcomes - with a result of broadening the range of options considered - leading to more informed decisions
Emotional Expression: Through talking about feelings and concerns people aligned their decisions to be more with their values & preferences.
Trust: When people trust and believe the other person has their best interests at heart - it fosters a more open and honest conversation that leads to better decisions and outcomes.
Dare to be brave - big decisions include stakes, they matter. We know that bad decisions could hurt us or others, and the potential embarrassment of making decisions that turn out to be wrong sucks.
Choosing to evaluate a big decision includes evaluating bad possibilities. Like what happens if you make no decision? With science humans uncovered the harsh reality that there may be a better way. This doubt - that comes from a long line of people including Doctors, Judges, Leaders, and Scientists making decisions that new data or a different test proved their first decision to be wrong - feels intimidating.
In books there is something called Plot Armor. This is when you know that the hero of the story will live on because otherwise the plot would fall apart. (Game of Thrones is an example of breaking plot armor when Ned Stark was killed). By evaluating your decisions, reflecting on outcomes, getting creative about options you build your own plot armor. A conversation about a decision makes it easier to live with it - no matter what happens - because you remember you did do the work to evaluate, and you made the best decision you saw at the time.
Give yourself time to discern a good decision, and then make the choice. It’s easy to put off making big decisions, and it is also easy to explore your best options. What is the easiest, lowest risk way to begin doing or testing what you believe to be the correct choice for you? Line it up with your values, include people with stakes in the outcome and begin.
Note: by looking for ways your implementation might stop or go off the rails and planning a few strategies to get back on track - improves the likelihood of achieving desired outcomes long term.
Your Magic Wand
All of the best leaders, and examples of human excellence - made & make mistakes. Then they get up and keep making big decisions.
The moment you realize you’ve made a wrong decision, you can choose to change - and make the decision right.
A lot I love about this post – but especially how it relates to my conversation yesterday with a friend about “decision intelligence” ... some cool synchronicity
And the idea that we want to get to a position where the decision makes itself… So we’re continuously cultivating the capacity to feel into and listen and discern more than we are into the need to decide. Your peace reflected that for me.