Imposter?
Finding a way to live from your authentic identity of Aspiring
Do you believe you’re not worthy of success or doubt your intelligence, skills, or competence? (Even if it is your efforts, accomplishments, or knowledge that got you into a place you feel you don’t deserve?) What if there was a way to transcend feelings of being an imposter and transform the negative energy that causes self-doubt into a catalyst for improving our lives?
I am well aware of my failings, faults, bumbles, and brokenness. To accept any accolade or recognition for success feels like a lie to me, because I know my secret errors and (some of) my shadow. It’s from this limited sense of self that my feelings of being an imposter arise. Yet, after reading a poem by William Blake where everything is infinite - I wonder - maybe I’m missing something.
Auguries of Innocence
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour…
Let’s imagine for a minute - that everyone - especially the successful people are imposters. Their static identity as a “success” does not match their growing and flowing reality of being human & making mistakes as they work to improve.
So If everyone is an imposter, is anybody really an imposter?
The only thing that is permanent is change… So how can any person be authentic and claim to be something static, like a success? If you have a million dollars and you lose a penny - are you any less of a person?
Here’s a kicker, holding on to a static identity that disempowers the person feeling like an imposter - it keeps them from feeling a sense of ownership & joy for the courage of growing. It might limit them from being a leader - if they don’t believe they are worthy of feeling successful - why would they share some of their insights that measurably improved their lives?
Aspiring - An evolving growing identity for improving
When I realized this - things began to shift for me. To Aspire - includes a reality test. Michael Jordan lost games, missed the game-winning shot many times, and is still considered one of the G.O.A.T’s in basketball. Everyone wants to be better and wants better things in life. To aspire to be better recognizes that the path to improvement isn’t an easy straight line. It is littered with failures, missteps, setbacks, and doubts.
The choice to aspire - can be humbling. It takes us off the pedestal of perceived perfection and puts us into the arena of sweat and struggles. The benefit to people who admire you - is that your journey to where you are now becomes more believable and lets others see the courage you need to face multiple challenges on the way.
My main reason for choosing to identify as a flawed aspiring facilitator - is that I don’t want to take this journey of growing and improving alone. I realize that it isn’t fair for me to judge anyone - including myself - on some stagnant ideal. Instead, I want to uncover and hear the dreams and hopes of others, grounded in the real struggles they have. Then we can explore ways to collaborate and navigate towards better lives together.
I like the idea of seeing myself as someone who is aspiring in the long-game .. the infinite game as it were :) Reminds me too, to take myself less seriously, to have a good time.
ALSO! reminds me of the root of the word Amateur -- Amor -- to be in love -- to do something because we love it : that also makes the aspiration not to make the game-winning shot.. but to be more deeply in love with the set of practices that will help us get in the game we want to be playing !
cheers!